On Paranoia, Deflection and Self-Doubt
I am a married man. Legally. The person I happened to fall in love with turned out to be a woman. I am lucky enough to be, in 48 states, socially acceptable.
Now if my wife has an accident. I can go see her in the hospital.
If my wife dies, I don’t lose everything we jointly own.
If my wife chooses to leave me, I will lose half of everything I own.
I have the blessings of society to intimately explore our lives together, spiritually, physically, emotionally and intellectually.
I take my marriage very seriously. I work very hard to make it a good marriage. It is central to my life.
Most states in the US will bless my marriage with a woman. Just the other day, South Carolina said it was okay . Alabama still doesn’t bless my marriage. My wife is Chinese. Or at least mostly Chinese. And, until recently, that was a no-no. Non-white people were seen as animals. So marrying them would be like bestiality.
Now people say that if we allow gay marriage the next logical extension will be to allow bestiality or pedophilia. See a trend?
Just as we’re about to settle the fact that it’s okay for people who love each other to get married, the same zealots who brought you bans on so-called “interracial marriage” are bringing you amendments to the US Constitution to ban so-called “gay marriage.”
Think of it, we will actually amend our constitution … a document we hold in such high esteem because it affords us all sorts of freedoms. We are going to amend it specifically to prohibit people from having freedoms. An unfortunate slippery slope, this will send us down.
The entire argument against so-called gay marriage is religious. Some interpretations of the bible are used as the primary line of defense for an exclusive view of marriage. Oddly enough, these are often the same portions of the Bible that were used to defend slavery, racism, and eugenics.
Now we are told that Marriage is under attack and that Marriage should be only between “a man and a woman.” Marriage should not be primarily based on love, respect or commitment; but on gender. Marriage should not be between two people who will grow together and make the world a better place; but on gender.
I feel this cheapens my marriage and goes much farther to destroy the institution of marriage than married same-gender couples ever would. We spend so much of our time trying to “protect” marriage from same-gender couples, that we lose focus on what marriage really means. Marriage is an institution based on love, commitment and responsibility. Regardless of what certain people might think, these do not require multiple genders to assume.
Our President and others will need to communicate the compelling societal interest of specifically seeking out and barring rights from a significant number of people.
Our President will need to communicate to me why it is in the interest of society that a member of a committed same-sex couple who has been together many years cannot visit the other in the hospital, represent the other’s interest when they are incapacitated, or relinquishes control of common assets to the partner’s family in the event of death. These rights which are taken for granted by mixed-gender couples that same-sex couples have tremendous and traumatic problems with every day.
Why is my marriage stronger because other people who love each other cannot be married?
In short, it is not. Just as our freedom is cheapened when others are enslaved, our marriages are cheapened when others who love each other are denied marriage.
It may make you squeamish. It might not be consistent with your religion. But one must separate their personal tastes or personal religion from the issue. Let us strengthen the institution of marriage by reserving it for people who respect the institution and their partners. Rather than banning one group from the club, let us re-examine the club.
Religion is not a valid determinant for banning same-gender marriage as it has shown repeatedly in the past that it re-writes its own rules as the are proven anachronistic. Again, previous religious arguments for slavery, racial-intolerance, eugenics, polygamy, monarchies, etc. provide ample examples of this.
Spousal abuse, marriages-of-convenience, and infidelity are much more damaging to the institution of marriage than people who love each other.
Do not damage our constitution by making it a document that denies rights. Do not damage my marriage by making it a tool of oppression. Do not damage my country by allowing paranoia and bigotry to drive legislation.
